Things Remain Unspoken For A Reason
by merthurlocked
Summary: Remus Lupin wakes up to find his friendships with the Marauders in shambles because of Sirius, whose prank could not have gone more wrong. Remus is hurt and feels betrayed, but what happens when Sirius starts acting weird, getting drunk and not caring about his studies? Remus really wants to forgive him and ask what's wrong, but he just can't... Eventual SiriusxRemus


Things Remain Unspoken for a Reason

**Disclaimer: **No, I do not own these characters if I did the story would have had a few changes to it (Sirius and Remus would have been canon!) All rights go to the brilliant .

**A/N:** Hello my dear readers just like to add that this is my first RemusxSirius but I have wrote lot's of other stories! This has been on my mind since last September and I have finally decided to finish writing it. Hopefully updates will be done regularly but I may need a kick up the backside! The story starts after Sirius tells Severus how to get into the Whomping Willow and will eventually end with Remus and Sirius discovering and coming to terms with their feelings for each other!

One more thing please say a special thanks to Will2Meaning who helped with my Summary and also who has a brilliant story out called **In the Next Seven Years- **siriusly go read it ;)

**Chapter 1- The Aftermath**

Remus awoke to the early morning sun shining down on his scratched and bruised body. It was the morning after his transformation and he hurt terribly. All of his muscles and bones ached screaming at him not to move. This particular transformation had been worse than usual, but he had no clue why. They had started to get better during the end of his 4th year as he had his friends with him- all in their animagus forms of course. He had the feeling that something awful had happened that night but his mind could not focus on anything other than the amount of pain. He slowly got to his feet, trembling as his legs became unsteady. He managed to stay standing though and he moved carefully towards an old battered wardrobe. It had a great big chunk missing at its side but Remus wanted what was on top not what was inside. Which was nothing as the wolf would have wrecked it all by now but still. He stood on a chair and gently reached up to the top of it, he cursed under his breath as a rib suddenly cracked and Remus hissed in pain. "Shit, shit, shit!" He held his side but after a few minutes he was able to grab his clothes and wand from the top. He fell to the floor as the chair toppled over and collapsed with a loud whack! Standing, he delicately put on his clothes and moved towards the awaiting bed. His mind ran over the events of last night but his memory became blank as soon as he got to the part of leaving the school to transform. Rrr it was so frustrating! He knew something had happened but his mind must have blocked it all out or he was still disorientated. He lay on the bed and counted down the minutes to half past six, the time in which Madame Pomfrey would collect him.

….

Remus suddenly jumped and hit his head on one of the bed post's as a familiar voice drifted in through the cold, small room. "Remus dear, are you in here?" Madame Pomfrey stood behind the little shack's bedroom door and peered at the lump on the bed. Remus stood quickly and made his way to Madame Pomfrey, who held the door open. Remus said hello and the two headed down the small steps and into the passageway.

"Are you okay Remus, you're looking a bit worse for wear this morning"

"It was a bad transformation Madame Pomfrey and I think it's because something happened last night, but I can't remember for the life of me what!" Remus answered a bit shakily. This tunnel always made his head spin.

"Well your right about that my love, something did happen last night! I still can't actually believe he did that and he says he's your friend too!" Madame Pomfrey shook her head disbelief clear in her voice.

"I'm sorry but what are you talking about?" Remus asked.

"Wh- what? Oh er, well actually I'm not meant to… Ah look the end of the tunnel let's get those cuts heeled up, yes?" Madame Pomfrey made her way out of the tunnel and froze the Whomping Willow by pressing the small knot of the root. She helped Remus out and the two walked up the worn path to the hospital wing. Remus wasn't going to let her off that easily though, so he asked her again.

"Please Madame Pomfrey just tell me what happened last night. I really think it will help, my head hurts from all this thinking. I just want to know!" Remus stopped walking and turned towards Pomfrey, his hand reached up to her shoulder to stop her from walking too.

"Oh Remus dear, I know you want to know. But I think, and this is in my best interest, that you should go on unknowing…for now. Just wait a little bit longer and I'm sure someone will put you out of your misery, okay? I need to check you over and heel up those gashes and scratches."

"Bu-" Remus looked at Pomfrey's stony expression and he knew not to push it. "Okay fine!"

"Thank you Remus, go on then in you come" Madame Pomfrey opened a little side door and let Remus in. She walked through her office, picking up a few things on her way. They headed out and entered the main hospital room. Remus walked to the back where a curtain had already been drawn and sat down on the squishy hospital bed. He rested his head on the mound of pillows and waited for Madame Pomfrey to come. She entered and told Remus to take his shirt off and trousers. He did so in silence and did his best to keep the pain out of his breathing. Madame Pomfrey took her wand out and whispered incantations, closing up the worst of his wounds. She applied some healing potion onto Remus. It was a new concoction her and Professor Slughorn had thought up. It healed up any new scars so they were invisible and even covered up some of Remus's old scars. Unfortunately it couldn't quite get rid of all of them; no Remus will always have scars. "Ahh, I'm all done. You're looking much better now Remus. Although you still look a bit pale" Madame Pomfrey frowned.

"Yeah still feeling a bit sick, it'll wear off soon though. Thank you" Remus smiled up at her and she smiled back.

"Hmm yes, it will soon and that's okay Remus. Right I think I can hear your friends, so I'll go and let them in. You're only having twenty minutes with them though, you need your rest!" Remus laughed as Pomfrey vanished behind the curtain returning a few seconds later with James, Peter and Sir- No Sirius wasn't there. "Where's Sirius?" Was Remus's way of greeting them.

"And hello to you too!" James replied his voice trying to sound cheery but instead he came of annoyed and grouchy.

"Oh, er yeah…sorry. Hi guys, thanks for coming down." Remus said surprised at how moody James looked and how quiet Peter was. The two boys nodded a 'you're welcome' and they both sat down. "Guy's what's going on, why are you all silent and where's Sirius?" Remus asked. He hated it when his friends were keeping something from him, and he had a feeling that was happening.

"Nothing's going on and Sirius is- is cleaning himself up, he has a black eye and a bleeding nose but a part from that he's okay." James said and clenched his teeth together.

"What? Why does Sirius have a black eye? What happened guys? And don't you lie to me! Something's going on here and I want to know what, first Madame Pomfrey and now you two as well!" Remus demanded his friends to tell him, but they looked at each other and James secretly shook his head at Peter telling him not to say anything. "Rrr guys, are you really going to keep me in the dark? I'll find out eventually you know that and I'll recover my memory." Remus sank back down into his bed knowing he wouldn't get anything out of them.

"We er, brought you some chocolate; it's your favourite from Honeydukes" Peter handed over some white truffle chocolate drops. They weren't his favourite but he was very grateful for them.

"Thanks Pete, James" Remus smiled, trying to show them that he was okay and that he wasn't working his brain really hard to figure out about last night. For some time the three boys talked and ate chocolate, trying to ease the tension that had built up.

"Wait James did you and Sirius have a fight?" Remus sat bolt upright, the idea had just popped up in his head.

"Wh… How? Well yeah we did, but I told you I don't want-"

"Why? You said he had a black eye and a bleeding nose; you didn't give him that did you?"

James sighed "Yes I did and he deserved it! You'd agree with me once you know why"

"Then tell me, come on prongs, wormtail? Guys I want to know!"

"We- we can't I'm sorry Remus" Peter muttered quietly.

"Bu-" Remus started again.

"Look we better go have our lunch before it all vanishes, come on Pete. We'll see you later" James said, picking himself out of the chair and grabbing Peter's arm. They moved towards the curtain and were through it before Remus could even say goodbye.

….

"There you are love, chicken broth and some pumpkin juice" Madame Pomfrey handed Remus a tray with a hot bowl of soup in its centre. She placed his cup on the side table and started faffing around with his blankets.

"Thank you, it looks lovely" Remus sat upright and began eating his food.

"That's okay my dear, and oh yes I know it's the house elves speciality there soups. I'm going to have some myself in a bit, but I have to go and see the head. I won't be long."

"Oh right okay then, see you soon." Remus watched Pomfrey shuffle out the closed off section of the hospital wing and a few seconds later he heard the main door open and close. Remus sat and quickly finished off his lunch. He was bored, his friends were acting weird and every time he thought of Sirius he felt a wave of hurt rush over him but he had no clue why. It's like his subconscious knew about last night and was holding the information back from his conscious state of mind. All he wanted was for his memory to come back; it was killing him not knowing! Remus fought hard with his brain for a while but Madame Pomfrey must have put a sleeping draught in his pumpkin juice as he found himself dozing off. His mind ran over images and sounds as he slept, dark skies and a greasy haired boy's scream were among them. Suddenly Remus awoke and his eyes shot open. He knew that boy, that greasy haired Slytherin was no other than Severus Snape. But what was he doing in his dreams? What on earth did they mean anyway? He racked his brain for answers and at last one came. Severus saw Remus transform last night, he must have done. Severus knew about him being a werewolf. Dread filled Remus's body as he remembered part of last night. He had been late getting to the shrieking shack and as a result he ended up starting his transformation in the tunnel. He remembered smelling fresh warm blood coursing through a human body, the half wolf half Remus turned around only to face Severus Snape, gawking at him, fear keeping him rooted to the spot. Remus shuddered at the memory. Why had Severus been at the whomping willow in any case? If it weren't for James running in and grabbing Severous round the waist, Snape would have been dead and so could have Remus. He either would have been put in a prison for mythical creatures or been executed. How had Severus known to go to the whomping willow? And coming to think about it, how did Severus know about the knot on the tree in which you press to freeze it? Someone must have told him, but who?

A loud banging of doors brought Remus out of his flash back and to the figure who was now standing in front of the blue curtains. Black curly hair was pushed out of its owners eyes as the boy looked up to see Remus's expression of confusion. Sirius Black stood, a small smile held on his cut lips "Remus, ho- how are…you?"

"Er…" Remus started but was cut off.

"Stupid question! Look I've come to apologise for you know…" Sirius stuttered off, averting his gaze and instead he chose to look at his slightly scuffed shoes.

"No I don't actu…" Then suddenly it hit him like a ton of bricks. "It was you? You were the person who told Severus how to get into the whomping willow. You're the reason why Snape might have died and you're the reason I feel worse than I usually do. It was YOU!" Remus shouted the last word at him and Sirius flinched backwards.

"Remus, I'm so, so sorry. You've got to believe me, I never meant for this to happen, I didn't think, I didn't realise-" Sirius's body shuck as tears spilt down his pale face, they ran down his purpling cheek and rolled of his chin, dropping to the floor with a quiet splat.

"You never think though, do you? You just do and then later you come to realise what you have done. Or what you nearly did, Sirius do you even care if Severus had died? Do you know what would have happened to me if he had? I might have died too, I would have been executed. EXECUTED!" Remus watched on, seeing shock and remorse spreading across his face.

"Wh-? I know, and I really am sorry. Please Rem, you have to… you have to believe me" Sirius was an uncontrollable wreck now.

"Get out. You're pathetic, you really are." Remus said through clenched teeth. As a few tears escaped his eyes.

"But, please-" Sirius started again.

"GET OUT. NOW!" Remus bellowed and Sirius cowered back further into the curtain.

"Rem, please- ple- please…"

"You heard him, Sirius. Get out, go on." James and Peter walked through and the two boys moved next to Remus's side ensuring there was distance between them and Sirius.

"No, I haven't finished yet, Remus please…"

"What don't you understand about Get Out? Go and grovel in your shame elsewhere."

Sirius looked at each face and landed on Remus's, begging him for forgiveness, "But James you have to-"

"I don't have to do anything, not for you. Not anymore. He isn't going to forgive you and neither are we, what you've done is irreparable… You're out of the group Sirius. You're no longer a- a… marauder. You don't deserve to be one, so turn those puppy dog eyes away and give them to your family instead. Maybe if they know what you've done they might finally take interest in you" James spat out each word glaring at him. Sirius gave one last mournful look at Remus and then fled. He ran through the hospital wing and reached the big double doors. He wiped away his tears with the back of his cloak's sleeve and his hand pulled on the door. He opened it up and Madame Pomfrey came striding in.

"Sirius, what are you doing in here. You no longer have the privilege to come here. I'm sure Remus will agree with me there."

Pomfrey looked down at Sirius, who had become frozen in his spot. "Do you understand? Sirius? Do. You. Understand?" Sirius nodded and fled through the doors, turning his back on his friends and…Remus.

….

He ran down corridor after corridor, turning left and right, unconsciously leaping over the trick step and barely missing other students. He ran and ran, no idea where to go, but he never once stopped. His legs started to hurt and his breathing escalated but still he didn't stop. He turned another corner and his leg suddenly tripped on something, causing him to launch in the air and land with a loud 'splat'! "Ow fuck" Sirius moaned and turned around so he lay on his belly. There had been no gasps or even laughs, which told Sirius that he was by himself. 'At least no one saw me do that' he thought to himself. He carefully stood up, wincing slightly as he lent on his right foot. 'Where am I' Sirius looked around the deserted corridor and found nothing of interest. Then he saw a tapestry the one of Barnabas the Barmy. He knew exactly where he was now, the seventh floor in the left part of the castle. Sirius paced slowly back and forth, back and forth; thinking of the day's events. He thought about Remus's face and how hurt he looked, he thought about James's last remark. He shuddered inwardly. Why? Why did he have to be so stupid? How did he actually think the prank would go? How had he not stopped to think about what the outcome might have been? How had he hurt Remus that badly? Remus… His friend, one of his best friends. He couldn't bare to think of it, he wouldn't think about how he might have ruined his friendship with Remus for good. He hated the fact that it was his entire fault and that no matter what he did he knew it would be no use. He had totally and utterly made his friendship with Remus impossible to mend. And he supposed that was what hurt the most, because with Remus he had a different relationship. They were so unlike each other, nothing like James and Sirius- who were two peas in a pod. They were so different yet they worked well with each other, they were like chalk and cheese. They understood each other and that was what made their friendship stand out. They sometimes had late night chats; Remus would talk about how he became a werewolf (one of his touchiest subjects) and Sirius would talk about how upset he was that his younger brother, Reg, had turned out just like the rest of his hideous family. Remus knew what it was like to be looked at disgustingly; his grandma hated him and always cracked jokes about his condition. Remus told Sirius how much he hated her but that it was alright because he only had to see her at Christmas and on other special occasions. But halfway through his 4th year, his grandma had a funny turn and ended up having to live with the Lupin's. Sirius had comforted Remus, he stayed the night in his bed just talking with him. Sirius nearly had a fit when he found out what she'd been calling him. A waste of space, a dirty flee ridden werewolf, a scrounger who's taking his mum and dad for granted! How could anyone say that to Remy? From that day on Sirius hated Remus's gran, even though he had never met her. Sirius couldn't believe what an ass he's been! He knew that Remus would never forgive him and Sirius would never forgive himself. He couldn't go back to his dorm room and he couldn't really go back to the common room, he needed to be free of questions and glares. He needed somewhere that had a bed and a fire, somewhere he wouldn't be found. He carried on his pacing with these new thoughts running through his head as he tried to think up a good place to hide. He heard a strange crumbling noise, which got louder, and looked up. What now stood before him was a massive oak door; it had replaced part of the wall. He glanced behind him; to check if anyone had seen, then reached out to the handle and pulled down. The door was closed behind him and he suddenly found himself staring at a king size bed with the Gryffindor colours on the sheets. A gasp escaped from his mouth as he took in the rest of the room, a fire was blazing in the corner and opposite it was a comfy old armchair which looked like the one he always sat on in his common room. By the chair's side was a small table with a lamp and a black book. Sirius walked over to the armchair and plopped down. It even feels like the chair in the common room, was the first thought that entered Sirius's mind as he sat. He felt the heat of the fire radiate on to him and he leant over the table to retrieve the book, gasping as he looked at it. It had three initials encrusted on the top, **S.O.B**, it was his own photo album. Sirius gulped as he turned the page, there in the middle was a picture of the four marauders; Sirius with his arm around James- who stood in the middle- and his other arm around Remus, Peter was at James right side. They must have been in their first year as they all had chubby faces and Sirius's hair was really short. Underneath the photo he had written _Best Friends for Life_. He flicked through the rest of the photos, tears streaming down his face. He didn't know how long he sat there staring at the pictures, but when he got to the last photo he couldn't help bursting into tears. The picture was of him and Remus sitting on his bed, arms around each other's shoulders, smiling. He lost it then, he broke down howling and screaming. He slid off the armchair and sank to the floor, trembling from head to toe.


End file.
